Hey. My name is (sometimes) Alexandra Stormrider, and I, quite clearly, have commitment issues.
[Here is a masterlist of all my "I'm so sorry I haven't posted! :(" posts: one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen... and have a guest appearance from little bro Nat]
I've been a level 45 diviner for over a year now, and I haven't posted on my fan blog for over 10 months. I posted eight times last year. Eight! And, although I don't want to say it... I think that says something about this blog, and my attitudes towards it.
Things have changed a lot since I started this blog.
I was twelve when I started this blog. Now, when I was twelve, I was a lot of things. Shy, for example, and awkward. (I still am pretty shy and awkward.) Scared. Pretty insecure. Mostly I was pretty unhappy. I was at a pretty awful school, and the (very few) friends I had weren't great. Wizard101 was an escape. It's a cliché, I know, but it was easier to pretend that I was this character I'd invented, the bold and adventurous Alexandra Stormrider, scared of nothing, with a band of fantastic friends to save the Spiral with.
I was nothing like Alexandra Stormrider.
Over the years, this blog helped me develop my writing skills (at least, I hope I'm a better writer than I was in 2009), make a few friends, and find out some stuff about myself as well.
Eventually, the real person became more like the online persona and the online persona toned down the "EPIC AWESOMESAUCE LULZ" until she became more like the real person. Now, Alex and I aren't so different at all, I guess.
One of the major factors in that was moving school. Now, I actually have friends outside of the Spiral, here on Earth. And yeah, that's been nice. It's meant that I've had what could tentatively be described as a social life. I've also had a lot more experiences which have led to a bunch of new interests, and I've been putting more energy into my schoolwork.
The point is, although I don't think I'm ever going to get used to the idea that I'm closer to the age of twenty than ten, I'm sixteen now. I'm an entirely different person from the nervous, naive twelve-year-old who decided she wanted to write fanfiction like Sarah and Sierra, who freaked out over her first ever comment.
And I'm happy. Things are vastly different, and I'm doing well. And things in my real life are going to keep on changing in the near future as I go into sixth form next year, leaving me with a handful of new responsibilities and possibilities. It's exciting. I'm excited.
Today I logged back into Wizard101 for the first time in ages. I was standing in Unicorn Way, for some reason, so I decided to head over to the duelling area and check out the new tournament features. And for some reason, someone started talking to me - some apprentice thaumaturge - and you know what? It was incredibly nice to be back, and to just talk to someone and even use "lol" unironically. (It's the simple things, isn't it?)
It's that easy to make a friend, there. I miss that sort of ease, I guess.
The magic of it still felt the same, even after all these years. I remember when I'd been on holiday in France with no Internet for a few weeks. It was the summer before I started this blog, I think. I'd been using the limited access I did have to read and re-read the first two or three sections of The Tale of Sarah Spiritheart. They - especially part two - were just unbelievably magical. And I was worried that when I played Wizard101 again it wouldn't quite meet the world I'd created in my imagination from her story. But once I got home, I logged into the game immediately, and I ran through the commons and felt the magic rush through me. It still managed to make my excited and happy all over again. And I have a feeling that no matter how old I get, it's not going to change.
Even so, Wizard101 is bigger than ever, and it's changed since this blog began, too. When I started playing, Grizzleheim had only just been released. Bizarre, in a way. It was a smaller Spiral back then. But, you know, things change.
So, how are things going to change now?
Well, let's start with the bad news.
I started writing The Tale of Alexandra Stormrider when I was that awkward twelve-year-old with questionable writing skills we know and... well, probably not love, but appreciate in some sort of way. It wasn't particularly original. It wasn't particularly good. It's been three and a half years now, and I can't even remember where I wanted it to end, or how I wanted it to end. It's been a long, rambling, something like thirty thousand words of nothing remarkable.
So, with that in mind, I'm going to abandon the story.
It hasn't been an easy decision, honestly. I wanted to finish it so badly. But I think I need to officially admit what I've known for a while: it's not going to end, because I have no idea how to end it. And I am so, so sorry to anyone who was waiting for the end, if there's anyone left who still was reading it.
I'd like to say thank you so much for everyone who has read or commented or enjoyed the story over the past three years. Every scrap of feedback I received made my day, and I want anyone who was reading it to know that invariably at some point you have made a really miserable young teenager's life better. So thank you so, so much.
Furthermore, I might not have a subscription for very much longer.
I don't play Wizard101 as much any more, and I'm only going to get busier as the years go on. Financially, times are just getting tougher for my family, and one of the things that is likely to be going is that subscription. So I suppose I could be at level 45 for quite a while longer. I love the game, and I know I could never abandon it completely. But even without the rest of the Spiral, I can still make friends and run through the Commons like I always used to.
As for Pirate101, I'm not even going to try to get into it, as the time and money I have to spare is becoming increasingly limited.
The good news is that, despite all this, I'm going nowhere.
So many bloggers have left, and so many writers. And although I'm not promising regular updates - because that has never happened on this blog, let's be realistic here - I don't want to be one of them. No, I'm here to stay, guys.
"But Alex, what exactly are you going to blog about if you're cancelling your subscription and abandoning your story?"
Well, I'll be keeping up with W101 news, so you'll always have my opinion on that. (The new hairstyles don't really capture my interest, but instruments! I couldn't imagine a more fantastic update to be honest, as a so-called musician myself.) I'll probably continue wandering around Wizard City and trying to make friends or annoy people (like that one time with the apples), wearing Crowns gear to look cool, and decorating my house. Plus, while I said I was discontinuing my story, I never said anything about stopping writing, so you can expect to see more short stories, potentially even featuring our favourite TTOAS characters - although probably in an alternate universe where the Spiral doesn't need saving this time.
As well as this, I might also be posting about other things or games or stuff happening in the outside world that some of you might find interesting... so we'll see how it goes.
- It's been nearly four years since I started this blog and my story.
- Things have changed a lot both in W101 and IRL for me.
- I am, unfortunately, abandoning TTOAS. I am incredibly sorry to anyone who was still hoping for an ending.
- My subscription will soon be cancelled.
- I'm not going anywhere, however.
- You shall continue to see me around Wizard City, though not necessarily the whole Spiral.
- I'm still going to be writing, possibly even about the TTOAS characters we all know and love.
Until next time,